PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?ME: I don’t know, I’m – what’s the word – depressed? Do I have to go into detail?Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.
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I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki
By Baek Sehee
PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?ME: I don’t know, I’m – what’s the word – depressed? Do I have to go into detail?Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.
Popular Reviews(10)
Reviewed by NoraI picked up this book because I was looking for a tteokbokki recipe, and this title kept showing up. The name immediately caught my attention, and once I realized it was about someone living with depression and having conversations with her therapist, I was intrigued. As someone currently dealing with depression (and craving tteokbokki), it felt like the right book at the right time. Unfortunately, it didn't really work for me. The book mainly consists of transcripts from the author's therapy sessions, and I found those surprisingly unengaging. I kept hoping for more reflection, context, or deeper insights, but it never quite delivered. It felt like it could have been so much more. That said, I'm giving it three stars instead of two because I genuinely appreciate how honestly it portrays therapy. I think it's valuable to show that therapy is a space where you can say the difficult, uncomfortable, and even irrational thoughts out loud. In a world where we're often expected to present the best version of ourselves, I found the author's openness refreshing. She wasn't trying to make herself look admirable. She was simply honest, and I really respected that. And one final highlight: the book actually includes a tteokbokki recipe at the end, which made me smile.
Reviewed by BellezhoIt didn’t fully capture my interest, and I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps it’s just not the type of book I usually enjoy. It wasn’t a bad read, but I ended up DNFing it halfway through.
Reviewed by lea 🦇If you get it, you get it. If you don’t, even better.
Reviewed by EmI just binge read the whole book. I love it. So intimate and honest and beautiful in it’s dark but not hopeless way. An opportunity to connect and find some companion for the journey of our lives - that can not always be sunny and bright.
Reviewed by Vanessa