Recommendations based on "Love Talk"

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different?In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read.

A practical guide to working with the principles of polyvagal theory beyond the therapy session.Deb Dana is the foremost translator of polyvagal theory into clinical practice. Here, in her third book on this groundbreaking theory, she provides therapists with a grab bag of polyvagal-informed exercises for their clients, to use both within and between sessions.These exercises offer readily understandable explanations of the ways the autonomic nervous system directs daily living. They use the principles of polyvagal theory to guide clients to safely connect to their autonomic responses and navigate daily experiences in new ways. The exercises are designed to be introduced over time in a variety of clinical sessions with accompanying exercises appropriate for use by clients between sessions to enhance the therapeutic change process.Essential reading for any therapist who wants to take their polyvagal knowledge to the next level and is looking for easy ways to deliver polyvagal solutions with their clients.

From licensed therapist and popular Instagram relationship expert Vienna Pharaon comes a profound guide to understanding and overcoming wounds from your family of origin - the foundation of how we relate to others, ourselves, and the world around us. None of us had a perfect childhood; we are all carrying around behaviors that don't serve us - and may in fact be hurting us. But it doesn't have to be that way, says licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Vienna Pharaon. Our past might create our patterns, but we can change those patterns for the better with the right tools. In THE ORIGINS OF YOU, Pharaon has unlocked a healing process to help us understand our family of origin - the family and framework we grew up within - and examine what worked (and didn't) in that system. Certain dysfunctions (or "wounds") in that family of origin will manifest in our adult life in surprising ways, from work challenges to interpersonal struggles. But when armed with the knowledge about our past, we can rewire our programming to meaningfully improve our relationships and our lives. It doesn't matter whether you've been in therapy for decades, or whether therapy isn't for you. It doesn't matter if you have plenty of memories from childhood, or struggle to remember anything at all. All that matters is your willingness to look inside yourself, and your determination to find a new way forward. Complete with guided introspection, personal experiences, client stories, frameworks for having difficult conversations, and worksheets to complement each chapter, THE ORIGINS OF YOU will teach you how your family can both build you up and break you down - and how you can heal yourself for good.

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In HOLD ME TIGHT, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

The classic text on the history of attachment theory and its impact on the field of child development, now in a fully expanded and updated edition.A century ago, leading childcare experts were miles apart in their recommendations to parents. Behaviorists warned against spoiling children with too much affection ("Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit in your lap") whereas geneticists argued that affection matters little because our genes alone determine who we are. Into this fray in the late 1930s stepped John Bowlby, the British psychoanalyst whose work with psychologist Mary Ainsworth would overturn the world of child development and shape its trajectory for the next 70 years.Becoming Attached tells the story of one of the great undertakings of modern psychology: the hundred-year quest to understand what children need and what constitutes good parenting. In this expanded and fully updated new edition, psychotherapist and journalist Robert Karen chronicles the origin of a groundbreaking idea - attachment theory - and its resounding impact on the fields of developmental psychology, psychiatry, and psychoanalysis. Karen charts the historic course of attachment theory as it gained notoriety and support-and not a little controversy. Do "securely attached" children fare better as adults than "insecurely attached" ones? What do children truly need to thrive? Can babies handle prolonged separations? Presenting the origin story of an important idea in child development, this new edition also reveals how attachment research has exploded worldwide in the past several years as evidence for the benefits of secure attachment continue to grow. Karen explores the cutting-edge science examining the relationship between infants and their caregivers - such as the hidden world of synchronized play, fMRI studies that reveal neural patterns of parental and receptive love, and the link between attachment and genetics, wherein early experience changes the expression of genes. Karen also tells a dramatic story of scientists at work and at war, what happens when a theory such as attachment becomes complicated by political and economic pressures, and how its entanglement with gender roles and equity in the workforce continue to overshadow research to this day. Karen shares anecdotes drawn from his own practice to illuminate the challenges many adults face in overcoming insecurities that may originate in infancy and childhood, and how resulting harmful relationship patterns may be quashed.Cementing its place as a classic text of child development and its rich history, Becoming Attached has much to say about both child and adult life, as readers will find it impossible to read without reflecting on their own lives as children, parents, and intimate partners in love or marriage.

Discover wisdom from Scripture that will help you navigate the confusing waters of love and relationships in today’s world. In Loveology, pastor and New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer helps you understand what the Bible has to say about sexuality, romance, singleness, and what it means to be male and female. In the beginning, God created Adam. Then he made Eve. And ever since we've been picking up the pieces. Love and hate. Marriage and divorce. Sexuality and adultery. Romance and heartache. Love is the source of our highest highs and lowest lows. We see the messiness of love all around us and are left with so many questions about what love really is. Amid all this confusion and pain, Loveology offers you a fresh, hopeful, biblical perspective on love that starts with marriage and works backward. Comer helps you understand what is right in male/female relationships—what God intended in the Garden. And about what is wrong—the fallout in a post-Eden world. Comer shows how when you let Scripture transform your understanding of love it will transform your relationships and your life. This book brings honesty, wit, and compassion to one of life’s most beautiful and challenging areas and ends with a raw, uncut, anything-goes Q and A dealing with the most asked questions about sexuality and relationships. Loveology is for singles, engaged couples, and the newly married—both inside and outside the church—who want to learn what the Bible has to say about sexuality and relationships. If you want to ask the why questions and get intelligent, nuanced answers that are rooted in the Scriptures, this book is for you.

The experience of separation and the ensuing susceptibility to anxiety, anger, and fear constitute the flip side of the attachment phenomenon. In an authoritative new foreword to Bowlby's classic study, Stephen Mitchell (who gives resonant voice to the relational perspective in psychoanalysis) bridges the distance between attachment theory and the psychoanalytic tradition.

The groundbreaking, provocative book that uses evolutionary psychology to explain human mating and the mysteries of love.If we all want love, why is there so much conflict in our most cherished relationships? To answer this question we must look into our evolutionary past, argues prominent psychologist David M. Buss. Based one of the largest studies of human mating ever undertaken, encompassing more than 10,000 people of all ages from thirty-seven cultures worldwide, The Evolution of Desire is the first work to present a unified theory of human mating behavior. Drawing on a wide range of examples of mating behavior -- from lovebugs to elephant seals, from the Yanomamö tribe of Venezuela to online dating apps -- Buss reveals what women want, what men want, and why their desires radically differ. Love has a central place in human sexual psychology, but conflict, competition, and manipulation also pervade human mating -- something we must confront in order to control our own mating destiny.Updated to reflect the very latest scientific research on human mating, this definitive edition of this classic work of evolutionary psychology explains the powerful forces that shape our most intimate desires.

You might already consider yourself a stellar conversationalist, but could you be even better? This book will help enrich your life, one conversation at a time. 'Reading TALK is like having a conversation with the world's best conversationalist' Angela Duckworth _________ Conversation is at the heart of our relationships and decision-making - but the science behind our everyday interactions, and how to improve them, is little known. In Talk, Harvard Professor Alison Wood Brooks provides fascinating insights into the power of effective communication. She gives you the tools that her MBA students say transform their lives, bringing together psychology, linguistics, sociology and neuroscience in her original framework: T - Topics - including the surprising impact of preparing topics before a conversation A - Asking - why we need to do more (and why we do less than we think) L - Levity - how to find the fun in conversations with anyone K - Kindness - how to be a better listener and not simply pretend to be one! Through her own original research, Brooks shows readers how small changes in how we communicate can make a big difference to our relationships, our careers and our lives.