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von Esther Perel
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of BooksFrom iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it.An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
von Ian Kerner
A Man's Guide On How To Enhance A Woman's Sexual Experience Through Oral Sex Outlines A System Of Intimate Techniques Designed To Maximize Female Gratification. Introduction : Confessions Of A Premature Ejaculator -- Part One : The Elements Of Sexual Style. She Comes First : The Courtesy That Counts -- Her Clitoris : The Little Engine That Could -- Think Outside Her Box -- The Female Orgasm : Keep It Simple -- The Tongue Is Mightier Than The Sword -- Her Inner Goddess -- Avoid Freud -- What's In A Name? -- Now You See It : Female Sexual Anatomy, Part 1 -- Now You Don't : Female Sexual Anatomy, Part 2 -- Avoid G-spotty Logic -- When Raindrops Keep Falling On Your Head : Female Ejaculation -- How Wet Is Wet? -- Aristotle And The Poetics Of Arousal -- A Synopsis Of Female Sexual Response -- Scent And Sensibility -- We've Come A Long Way -- Eat Right -- The Cunnilinguist Manifesto -- Part Two : Rules Of Usage. A Note On The Play Process -- Foreplay : A Lexicon Of Relevant Terms -- Introducing Coreplay -- Form Follows Function : Getting Into Position -- A Quick Refresher Of The Top Ten Hot Spots In The Clitoral Network --^ Grand Openings : The First Kiss -- Establishing Rhythm -- Developing Tension, Part 1 -- Time Flies -- Developing Tension, Part 2 -- Escalating The Action, Part 1 -- Two's Company -- An Interlude -- Escalating The Action, Part 2 -- A Stitch In Time -- Preorgasm, Part 1 -- Preorgasm, Part 2 -- Posterior Pizzazz -- Preorgasm, Part 3 -- A Note For Those Stuck Without An Ending -- The Female Orgasm : Expanding Your Vocabulary -- Moreplay : She Comes Again (and Again) -- Seamless Transitions -- Achieving Simultaneity -- Don't Forget Your Epilogue -- Part Three : Putting It All Together. The Substance Of Style -- Routines : A Cheat Sheet -- Routines : Beginner To Advanced -- Conclusion -- Appendices. Manual Stimulation During Foreplay -- Some Pointers On The Use Of Restraint -- Modifications Of The Standard Position -- The Protected Kiss, Part 1 -- The Protected Kiss, Part 2 -- The Scarlet Kiss -- The Virgin Kiss, His First Time -- The Virgin Kiss, Her First Time -- The Pregnant Kiss --^ Useful Toys -- Routine Template. Ian Kerner. Includes Bibliographical References (p. [225]-226).
von Casey Tanner
A groundbreaking guide to sexuality that dispels the stale cultural attitudes about sex that leave too many feeling inadequate, and offers an expansive, attachment-based framework to free us and develop bolder, more satisfying relationships with our sexual selves.When it comes to sex, most people feel insecure. But it’s not because we’re deficient; it’s because we’ve been under-resourced and miseducated.Certified sex therapist Casey Tanner argues that our sex lives are a microcosm of every untruth we’ve internalized about gender, sex, relationships, our bodies, and ourselves. Most of us were taught that healthy sexuality is only for a certain kind of person, in a certain kind of relationship, with a certain kind of body. As a result, the way we’ve learned how to define “good sex” is reflective of how good, worthy, and loveable we see ourselves.Feel It All is a comprehensive guide to help everyone uncover their personal misconceptions about sexuality and relationships. Tanner helps you recognize and assess your core beliefs surrounding relationships, sexuality, gender, and more; identify past trauma; find pathways to healing that work for you; and redefine sex based on knowledge and possibilities, rather than potential consequences.Comprehensive yet accessible, informative, warm, and nonjudgmental, Feel It All provides a pathway for personal healing, creating stronger relationships, and achieving deeper intimacy.
von Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher
The authors outline a step-by-step process designed to help readers negotiate the most difficult conversations imaginable, from negotiating with a tricky client to telling someone "I love you." Reprint.
von Vienna Pharaon
From licensed therapist and popular Instagram relationship expert Vienna Pharaon comes a profound guide to understanding and overcoming wounds from your family of origin - the foundation of how we relate to others, ourselves, and the world around us. None of us had a perfect childhood; we are all carrying around behaviors that don't serve us - and may in fact be hurting us. But it doesn't have to be that way, says licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Vienna Pharaon. Our past might create our patterns, but we can change those patterns for the better with the right tools. In THE ORIGINS OF YOU, Pharaon has unlocked a healing process to help us understand our family of origin - the family and framework we grew up within - and examine what worked (and didn't) in that system. Certain dysfunctions (or "wounds") in that family of origin will manifest in our adult life in surprising ways, from work challenges to interpersonal struggles. But when armed with the knowledge about our past, we can rewire our programming to meaningfully improve our relationships and our lives. It doesn't matter whether you've been in therapy for decades, or whether therapy isn't for you. It doesn't matter if you have plenty of memories from childhood, or struggle to remember anything at all. All that matters is your willingness to look inside yourself, and your determination to find a new way forward. Complete with guided introspection, personal experiences, client stories, frameworks for having difficult conversations, and worksheets to complement each chapter, THE ORIGINS OF YOU will teach you how your family can both build you up and break you down - and how you can heal yourself for good.
von Eric Barker
AN INSTANT USA TODAY and PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BESTSELLERFrom the author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Barking Up the Wrong Tree comes a cure-all for our increasing emotional distance and loneliness—a smart, surprising, and thoroughly entertaining guide to help build better friendships, reignite love, and get closer to others, whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, socially adept or socially anxious.Can you judge a book by its cover?Is a friend in need truly a friend indeed?Does love conquer all?Is no man an island?In Plays Well with Others, Eric Barker dives into these age-old maxims drawing on science to reveal the truth beyond the conventional wisdom about human relationships. Combining his compelling storytelling and humor, Barker explains what hostage negotiation techniques and marital arguments have in common, how an expert con-man lied his way into a twenty-year professional soccer career, and why those holding views diametrically opposed to our own actually have the potential to become our closest, most trusted friends.Inside you will learn: The two things essential to making friends – and what Dale Carnegie got wrong. What creates love, reignites love, and sustains love. (There’s no Build-A-Bear store for a happy marriage but this is close.) The ethical and effective way to get your partner to change. How social media can actually improve relationships. The antidote to loneliness and why what we usually hear doesn’t work.And so much more. The book is packed with high-five-worthy stories about the greatest female detective to ever live, the most successful liar to ever open his mouth, genius horses, thieving hermits, the perils of perfect memories, and placebos. Leveraging the best evidence available—free of platitudes or magical thinking—Barker analyzes multiple sides of an issue before rendering his verdict. What he’s uncovered is surprising, counterintuitive, and timely—and will change the way you interact in the world and with those around you just when you need it most.
von Esther Perel
A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.
von Harriet Lerner
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers.While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
von John Mark Comer
Discover wisdom from Scripture that will help you navigate the confusing waters of love and relationships in today’s world. In Loveology, pastor and New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer helps you understand what the Bible has to say about sexuality, romance, singleness, and what it means to be male and female. In the beginning, God created Adam. Then he made Eve. And ever since we've been picking up the pieces. Love and hate. Marriage and divorce. Sexuality and adultery. Romance and heartache. Love is the source of our highest highs and lowest lows. We see the messiness of love all around us and are left with so many questions about what love really is. Amid all this confusion and pain, Loveology offers you a fresh, hopeful, biblical perspective on love that starts with marriage and works backward. Comer helps you understand what is right in male/female relationships—what God intended in the Garden. And about what is wrong—the fallout in a post-Eden world. Comer shows how when you let Scripture transform your understanding of love it will transform your relationships and your life. This book brings honesty, wit, and compassion to one of life’s most beautiful and challenging areas and ends with a raw, uncut, anything-goes Q and A dealing with the most asked questions about sexuality and relationships. Loveology is for singles, engaged couples, and the newly married—both inside and outside the church—who want to learn what the Bible has to say about sexuality and relationships. If you want to ask the why questions and get intelligent, nuanced answers that are rooted in the Scriptures, this book is for you.
von John Kim, Vanessa Bennett
Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership. Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last? It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40. In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond. The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding. It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.