Xela, Arms Akimbo, Rubidoux, and Gogol are studying to become interplanetary diplomats on Planetoid Roma. Then one day, they discover a wormhole leading to Planet RU1:2 (better known to its inhabitants as "Earth"). It's not the boring, violent place they learned about in Dead and Dying Worlds 101, but a planet filled with cool but primitive people and strange customs -- like daily visits to the temple of golden arches. It turns out that RU1:2 was the target of a secret diplomatic mission long ago. But something went wrong, and all 175 mission specialists disappeared, scattered through time all over the planet. They're Goners -- and it's up to four galactic travelers to find them.