I want every book to be written like this

This Book was very different than what I usually read but I really wanted to get into classics and Camus seamed like the obvious choice. Well I don’t get Camus. I know he touches upon absurdism in his novels and that really shows but I just didn’t understand it enough. The reason can be that I read it in English and it’s not my first language however the writing style for me was very exhausting to read. I know it’s about a rich, educated man and that mirrors his expressions and how he speaks but still it was hard for me to follow sometimes. The novel is a monologue actually it’s a dialogue with the reader but it’s just Jean Baptiste who is talking. He confesses throughout the novel all his sins and bad things he did to others and himself. He talks about friendships, romantic relationships, work acquaintances even strangers and how he behaves or sees life which is that he is better than everyone and the most important in his life. We also see his progress of realizing that he isn’t the greatest and that it’s all an illusion. Well Jean Baptiste is the anti hero he is bad to the core and all the things he says makes you hate him. You root for his downfall because in some way it makes you feel better about yourself. He even touches upon this in the quote “ The more I accuse myself the more I have a right to judge you, even better I provoke you into judging yourself and that relieves me of that much of the burden “ I rated it 3 stars because I didn’t understand the end but I still think it is a very deep novel that opens your eyes to how u live and to appreciate your life more. “Perhaps we do not love life enough. Have you observed that only death awakens our feelings?” I also like a lot of other quotes about family and friends and how we treat our relationships so recklessly and always putting ourselves first. It really makes you think about your own life. Some other quotes I liked: “ it is wrong after all to say that I have never loved in my life. I have had at least one great love,always with myself as its object.” “ I think that there is not a single person that I loved whom I did not also eventually betray” “ don’t believe your friends when they ask you to be sincere with them. All they want is for you to sustain them in the good opinion that they have of themselves.”